I am 27 years old and I have done absolutely nothing with my life. I haven’t contributed anything to society and I feel very insignificant at times. Yeah, I got good grades and went to college like I was supposed to but I feel like it ruined me because it altered my perception of what the real world was supposed to be like. Why the @#$ did I go to college! A lot of people I know that I went to high school with didn’t go to college and they are doing just fine! Hell, I think I’ll even go ahead and get my MBA! And then I’m going to get my Masters and then I’m going to get my Masters Masters and then I’ll be supersmart and have all the degrees in the world knee deep in debt!
Okay so it's not that bad but I know I am not the only 20 something year old that has felt like that. There are many people in this age range and older who are contemplating their existence and their contribution to the general good of the public. There are many people in this age range who have a deep seeded fear that they will not live up to expectations that the world has set forth for them from the time they were in grade school. Brothers and sisters, you are going through what is called The Quarterlife Crisis.
It didn’t take me long to come up with this title as morbid as it is. But seriously these obsessive thoughts are enough to take some serious years off of your life! This is a window into my thinking more than anyone else’s but I am CONSTANTLY thinking about my future and I worry that I will go through life without having fully realized my purpose. Ahh!! Purpose! There’s that word again. I wholeheartedly believe that I was put here for a purpose along with everybody else but most of us are scared to pursue it. I have friends that tell me all the time, “Ed, you are doing fine. You are doing a lot better than 90% of the folks out here at your age.” I hear them and I somewhat agree with them but that does absolutely nothing to make me feel better. I only agree in the sense that I realize that I have potential but I fear that the limitations that I cannot control will eventually swallow up that potential. The only difference between us and the rest is that we are cognizant of our limitations.
6 comments:
Ed, This is the truth. We all face it until we face ourselves. When I look at Malcolm, Gandhi, Che, Jesus, Martin, etc, they all got it cracking in their 30s. Those who try to avoid the quarterlife crisis I think get it twice as hard during the midlife. Keep searching yourself. Thank you for being so honest with your thoughts and words.
Peace,
Jullien
www.julliengordon.com
I was there a couple of years ago... 2005/2006 was a tough time man... tough time. It's still a journey but never give up on yourself. (as if anyone has to tell you that)
My man Josh had this to say:
It's funny because we (young people) have a tendency to look at our short lives as if we are going to die tomorrow or the next day for that matter. My boss is a 52 year old accomplished (to many people's standard) black man. When we have our talks about life and I mention something on the lines of "world domination" or "this is what's wrong with the world" frame of thought... he always says, "you are doing fine...you are well on your way...just be patient and enjoy life... you cannot save the world...not in one day." He speaks from the scope of 52 (18,980 days) years to my mere 25 years (9,215 days). 1 Year to me is such a long time because I've only been around for 25 of them. 1 Year to him is no time because he's seen 52 of them. When he talks about goals he thinks in 5 year increments and decades... I think in days and months. Why is that? Because, as young people we have not been around long! Just think, 10 years ago you were 17 years old. Now you know there's a big difference in a 17 year old teen and a 27 year old young man. 10 years ago my boss was 42. Not as much of a difference in a 42 and a 52 year old than a 17 and 27 year old.
My point is this: As young people we need to take it easy a bit and allow life (God) to bring things to us. The biggest thing we can do at times is to prepare ourselves. The opportunity (I believe) will present it self to us eventually but in order to seize it we must be prepared. That's the part we DO have control of. We cannot make it rain one day and snow the next. Just like we cannot bring forth some of the opportunities of life! As a reference let's look at Barack Obama. He's by far one of the younger more vibrant candidates at the moment. I think it's a 20 year difference between McCain and him. Barack's life is now under a strong microscope as we can see. Before his candidacy, one would argue that he was a "nobody" if you did not live in IL. Would you agree that he is embarking on something really Great! You know this is not the same as Jesse Jackson running. This brother is impressive! I recently heard (don't quote me) that Barack is 47 years old! I said, "Wow, it took him 47 years of living to finally be prepared to run for the presidency once the opportunity presented itself." What if he would have looked at all of his years as black man in the US and said "f*$? it... the US will never be ready for a Black President. Why even try?" Aren't we happy he prepared himself so he'll be ready once the time came! The timing seems to be perfect. Look around you. Bush has messed up the economy! Americans don't have jobs and are losing their homes! Gas is through the roof! We're messing up the globe? No Social Security and no adequate Health Care! Barack is doing what I never thought would be possible in my young life...he has the approval of the white men (white men vote for him in every primary more than the other person)! It took him 47 years for this moment!
Ed, yes you do have purpose as you know! If you are not sure what it is yet..I believe you should keep living life and establish (if you have not already) a relationship of COMMUNICATION with God and it will be revealed. Yet it may take say another 20 years (you'll be 47 too) for the opportunity to use it becomes available.
The political analyst said, "it is so hard for the Hillary camp to find anything to use against Barack." referring to his personal life. He's no saint but he made sure he kept himself "clean" enough to escape scrutiny! To me, that's years of preparation for something big.
About your comment "...but I fear that the limitations that I cannot control will eventually swallow up that potential. The only difference between us and the rest is that we are cognizant of our limitations." Dog not trying to sound like Jack Hannah or anything but scientifically a Bumblebee should not be able to fly because the wings are too small. I know like many people you've heard that already but the quote is, "No one ever told the Bumblebee it couldn't fly." Bruh, the only true limitations that exists are the ones we place on ourselves.
The system, the man, whatever cannot deny someone who is hungry enough to go get it.
In conclusion, do all that you can, when you can, if you can and then after you have done all you can do.... be patient! The time will come and then the world will have to take notice of what you've known all along.
This probably sounds unclear at times but what the heck,
J~1
Brandon had this to say:
Well, I wont send you a worthless email licking your wounds(NO HOMO), but I will share my ideas on the Quarter Life Crisis. Fuck Quarter Life Crisis. You're absolutely right, college does seem unnecessary at times. True, there are people doing just fine without the degree. I believe the vast majority of the non-degree population wish they would have either went to school or their trying to get into school. Bruh, everybody has issues. Quarter, half or full life crisis are continuous. Live for the day. Be happy about how your day went instead of reflecting on how bad your week was. Do all of your good days out weigh your bad days? If so, then you cant complain. What you and I look for is satisfaction. Monetary? Yes. More importantly, personal. I'm sorry to tell you that level of satisfaction is the hardest goal we can ever attain. Why? We're human. We achieve to only to desire again. So I say "Sip sumthin, Fuck sumthin go to sleep."
ONE
Seku has this to offer:
man am I going to have to take your shoestrings lol.
Don't even sweat it man. More people should be looking for purpose, the world would probably be a better place. I been through those feelings, still going through them. Honestly I feel like I'm "the shit" ...lol so sometimes I feel a bit disappointed at myself when I compare myself to people I admire and what they had accomplished by age ... so I had to stop making those comparisons... lol but really I had to realize they lived in different times and each person is a product of a particular set of circumstances related to their own life. I think I'm doing almost what I'm supposed to be doing and I i'm not I'll figure it out, hopefully sooner rather than later. Just keep your options and your mind open, you don't want to settle in life or become one of the millions (most of the nation) that had so many big dreams they never followed and now find themselves floating through their lives, owned by the things they own, a slave to debt a commitments they probably should not have made. One
-Seku
I can relate to this topic. I think it boils down to never being satisfied. If you did contribute to society, you still would feel empty. We always look at what would could have versus analyzing what we have. I can say tons of things that you take for granted everyday. For example, living in a vibrant neighborhood in Brooklyn being full responsible and accountable for your day-to-day.
I think it is good to push yourself further..But you have to recognize the accomplishments you made thus far.. even when they look meaningless.
A job, a condo , participating in community service, taking on a new hobby , going to church, donating to charity, scoring a 700 on the GMAT and any other stereotypical factors that equate to happiness & success - - will not make you happier.. You will just look for the next score.
Life is one big hustle.. You will never be completely satisfied.. 25 or 35 or 55.
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